Crooked Lines
by Lightning-chan
Summary: Malik invites everyone over to his house to tell them something very important. Rated PG for some light swearing and.. stuff. o_o;


Note: This fic uses Japanese names. It may and probably will offend you. o_O I came up with it at school, and wrote it instead of my geography paper. No, I luckily did not get in trouble, but I almost did. I don't think you care, so I'll just get on with it.  
Disclaimer: I don't own Yuugiou, but I do with there was a contest where you could win a day with the rights of Yuugiou. This would SO happen if I won. :)  
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Yuugi's POV:  
It all started with a message on the answering machine. Yami and I had just come home from a small duel monsters tournament at the mall when we saw it. It was Malik, needing to talk to everyone. Yami thinks that he just invited all our friends so they could watch him kill us, but... I don't think Malik is like that. I told Yami that I would go without him, if he wanted it that way, and he came with me. See? He does have a soft side!  
  
Me, Yami, Anzu, Jounouchi-kun, Honda-kun, Bakura-kun, Bakura-kun's yami, and Isis are here. I'm not sure if Kaiba was invited, but I wouldn't be surprised if he were. He's probably just running late, as usual. Malik is no where in sight and Ryou's Yami is staring at Yami in a very.. Scary way. It's making me nervous, so I hope Malik will show up soon so we can get out of here.  
  
Yami's POV:  
I don't see why I should have to be here. Not only do I have to stand in the same room as that tomb robber over there, but Anzu just won't shut up. I don't care about the new shoes she got yesterday. I don't care about how amazing she thinks my duelling skills are, and I don't care how much she wants to take me out to dinner on Saturday night. I wish she would disappear. It's all Aibou's fault that I have to wait with him, but I can't bring myself to get angry with him. He seems to think that nothing will happen, but all logic points to this: Malik has gone completely insane and decided to do away with me once and for all. He invited all my friends and enemies just to watch me get killed (though I'm not sure which side Anzu is on). What a nice guy.  
  
That tomb robber is staring at me with an evil grin. It's sort of unnerving. I'm pretty sure that glint of light protruding from his pocket is the tip of his dagger's blade. He's probably going to try to help Malik kill me. Little do I know that I'm already on to their plans. They can't fool me that easily.  
  
Bakura's POV:  
Mwehehehehehehehehehe... I think Malik is finally going to dispose of that idiot Pharaoh today. I get his puzzle. Hehe... He's leaning against the wall on the other side of the room, flirting with that Anzu-girl, and looking all cool and such. Damn him. He doesn't even appreciate the attention he's getting from her, though, if it were me, I'd just kill her. It's too bad Ryou's holding me back. He won't let me kill anyone, which totally derives the fun of being here. Oh well, maybe Malik will let me help. Heh... where is he, anyway?  
  
Anzu's POV:  
Oh... he's so hot... I'm glad Malik invited everyone here, even though I don't really trust him yet. I think Yami and Yuugi had plans for today that had to be cancelled. I wouldn't have gotten the chance to see Yami! I love it how he always listens so well. A lot of people don't take me seriously, but I feel like I can really confide in him... and he's so hot!!  
  
Isis' POV:  
I can't believe the Pharaoh puts up with that.. How can he stand her mindless gibberish? She's been talking about God-knows-what for the past fifteen minutes! I'm still sort of surprised that he came at all after what Malik did. Stupid brother. I thought he looked up to me. Well, he used to, anyway... unless he sees me as a psychotic fool who wants nothing better than to be Pharaoh.  
  
I can't help but wonder at what Malik has to tell us. It must be a very important announcement for everyone to show up like this. He never tells me things anymore, so I'm sort of worried. Is anything wrong? Maybe he's just going to go insane and slaughter everything in sight. I think I'll move closer to the door. Just in case.  
  
Honda's POV:  
I wonder where Isis is going... oh, wait, never mind. She's just going to stand near the door now. Well, considering it makes an easy getaway, I don't blame her.  
  
"Hey, Honda... where the hell is Malik? He told us to be here at ten, and it's almost ten-thirty!" Jounouchi just stated the obvious as usual.  
  
"I dunno. Maybe he got lost or something.." I reply. Jounouchi is yawning again. I hope I don't start.. I only just woke myself up. Malik must be insane to invite everyone here at ten.. I don't even wake up until eleven, usually... I can only imagine how tired Jounouchi must be.  
  
Jounouchi's POV:  
"I dunno. Maybe he got lost or something.." Honda says. He always has such boring answers to all my questions, but I don't mind. I didn't expect much of an answer from anyone anyways. It's just weird that Malik would invite someone so.. So.. So... yaaaaaaaaaaaawn... early.  
  
Grr... here comes Kaiba. He's late. Again. I can't stand him. Why did Malik have to invite him as well!? I'll probably just get up and leave in a moment. Yeah. That's what I'll do.  
  
"Hey.. Who invited the puppy?" Kaiba asks with that smug look on his face. Ooh.. I'm going to punch it in one day. Ryou grabs me by the arm as I lunge at him, though. Argh... I hate it when people do that. What's wrong with a little violence? You see it on TV all the time anyway!  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
This had better be REALLY important. I'm missing a serious advertising meeting this morning to come out to the Ishtar residence, but Malik never said anything about inviting anyone else. He just said he had a problem with his duelling disk that tech support couldn't fix.. Ugh. I was tricked. I might as well make the best of it, since there's no point in trying to catch that meeting now.  
  
"Hey.. Who invited the puppy?" I ask, smirking at Jounouchi. I find the joke is getting bland now, but I love seeing the look he gets on his face every time I call him that. Heh.. Ooh! I'm scared. He just lunged at me.. But that Bakura-kid held him back. He can't even attack me properly!  
  
Ryou's POV:  
Aack.. Jounouchi-kun is getting harder and harder to keep quiet by the day. Though, I admit, what Kaiba-kun said was uncalled for. He should just stop, since it isn't funny anymore. Come to think of it, it wasn't even funny to begin with.  
  
Malik-san is almost never late.. What could be keeping him? I'm not sure my Yami can go much longer before running to the other side of the room to try to swipe Yuugi-kun's Sennen item. Everyone looks a little nervous. I wish Malik-san would just show up now... then we could all leave quickly. Oh! There he is now.. Finally...  
  
Yuugi's POV:  
Malik is finally here. Everyone is still restless. He's not talking. I just want to get out of here... all the silence is starting to bug me. Yami insists on standing between Malik and I, even though I just don't think that's necessary.  
  
Yami's POV:  
Anzu shut up, amazingly enough. Malik is here now and all attention is directed toward him. If Isis weren't standing near the door like that, Yuugi and I would have an easy get away... I wonder if there's some way we could both run to it and not get caught before it's too late...  
  
Bakura's POV:  
Look at the Pharaoh eyeing the exit as if he would be able to get away. Malik would get to him before he took even five steps and I'd have already gotten the Puzzle off of his hikari by then. The excitement is killing me. I just wonder when Malik is going to pop the attack. He's so quiet now. Maybe he'll use the element of surprise, though that's so over-rated nowadays.  
  
Anzu's POV:  
Oh.. Poor Yami. I don't have the nerve to talk to him right now. It's so tense in here, it's almost like Malik is controlling everyone's fear. Wait... maybe he is! He can use the Sennen Rod, right? Maybe this is what it's like to be controlled by it.. Oh no.. What's he going to do now? Will I be okay? Will Yami be okay?  
  
Malik's POV:  
Everyone showed up... even Seto... That's perfect. I can tell everyone as a group now. I don't think they'll accept me, but I won't know until I try. Eerrrk... everyone is staring at me. I know I should have shown up on time.. This is so awkward but.. Here goes..  
  
"O-ohayo gozaimasu... Thanks for... showing up here today as I have something to tell you..."  
  
Bakura's POV:  
That's it. He's starting to relax everyone... that way, they won't know what hit them! But... why is he acting so nervous? Is he losing his nerve?  
  
Honda's POV:  
What's with Malik? He seems to nervous.. It's not like he hasn't talked to everyone here before. What could he be trying to tell us?  
  
Jounouchi's POV:  
What a boring guy. Hmm... I wonder what I'll have for lunch today... I'm so starved I could eat a Niwatori Bird!  
  
Isis' POV:  
I haven't seen Malik this worked up since he had to be the lead role in the school play in grade 3. Actually... now that I think about it... that's probably why he's so destructive now.. Those poor classmates...  
  
"You know I don't usually openly tell things. Isis knows that the best, I would think." Well, he's regaining his confidence.. But since when does he refer to knowing me in public?  
  
"But this is sort of different. I feel that everyone should know this." What could possibly get him this worked up?  
  
Bakura's POV:  
Hehe.. Any second now... Malik will get him. Any second now...  
  
Ryou's POV:  
Um... what is he getting at? I've never, ever seen him so nervous. He's talking like Anzu-chan did when she told me that she had a crush on Yami, even though it was painfully obvious to everyone. Hmm.. Could he have a crush on Anzu-chan!? She's the only girl in the room that isn't related to him... unless he's just sick and he likes Isis. Though... why would he share this information with all of us? Maybe it's someone not in this room! Like... Mai-san! Maybe it's Mai!!  
  
"Er... I'd like to tell you... that.. Uh..."  
  
"Out with it, Malik!" Jounouchi-kun can be so inconsiderate...  
  
Jounouchi's POV:  
"Out with it, Malik!" I shout. Jeez.. He's stuttering so much. It's annoying me! Could he just tell us already!?  
  
"Okay," Deep breath.. Predictable. "I'm not attracted to members of the opposite sex."  
  
"...huh?" Is all I can say. What the hell does that mean? It's too early for big words. Heck.. It's always too early for big words. Yami's laughing, though... is it a joke? I don't get it. Maybe I should laugh too. I'd seem as smart as Yami. Wait.. But if it's an inside joke that only the yamis get.. Then I'd look stupid. Wait... if it was an inside joke, then why isn't Bakura laughing? I'm confusing myself..  
  
Yami's POV:  
Ra... I never thought this day would come. I... can't stop... laughing! Malik is gay!! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!! He openly admits it too... what a fag... literally...  
  
Yuugi's POV:  
Er... did I just hear what I think I heard? Is Malik... gay? I don't see why Yami finds it funny, though. Did I misunderstand or something?  
  
Anzu's POV:  
Ew... that's sick! I'm in the same room as a queer!! Wait.. If he's gay and attracted to guys, and I'm also attracted to guys, doesn't that make us think a little bit similar? Oh no!! WHAT IF HE'S ATTRACTED TO YAMI!?!?!?!?!? But Yami is mine. I won't let him take Yami away from me!!!  
  
Isis' POV:  
...did I hear my brother correctly? Is he gay? I mean, yeah, okay.. I'm fine with that, but it's a little shocking. It would explain his odd tendencies to go with me when I go to singles bars.. And how he never left my side when I was flirting with the guys. I thought he was just shy though..  
  
Malik's POV:  
"...huh?" Ugh.. Why did I invite Jounouchi? This is so embarrassing!  
  
"I'm gay," I say. Maybe if I put it in simpler terms, he'll understand. But even that is doubtful.  
  
Ryou's POV:  
Okay.. So I was sort of right. He was admitting some sort of feelings. Maybe it's attraction to a guy in the room. Ew!! It could be any of us! Me, Yami, Yuugi-kun, Yami Yuugi, Honda-kun, Kaiba-kun, or even Jounouchi-kun! I hope it's not me... I hope it's not me...  
  
Jounouchi's POV:  
"Ooooh..." I get it now. Wait... "EW!!!!" That's sick! Gross! Get him away!! I run for the door to be violently ill.  
  
Honda's POV:  
Uh.. Ew.. It looks like Jounouchi's going to need my help...   
  
"I'll just go... help him, okay?" It sounds like something metallic just dropped on the floor... oh well.  
  
Yami's POV:  
It looks like the tomb robber is just as surprised as I am. He just dropped his dagger and he's gaping at Malik as though he had two heads... but.. He's gay! Ah... my stomach hurts from laughing so much...  
  
Bakura's POV:  
What the hell!?!? My knife just dropped. I can't pick it up.. I can't move... did I hear him right? HE'S GAY!? Why didn't he tell me before!?! I've been friends with a gay man? WAS HE JUST HITTING ON ME!! Oh Ra.... I think I'm going to be sick too... Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew. Ew.... how can everyone else... excluding the Pharaoh who's going to die in fits of laughter... be so calm?!   
  
Kaiba's POV:  
"Yeah... okay. So you're gay. Why the hell do you think I would care!? What a waste of time this was..." I say. It's true! I don't care if he's queer or not. He can keep those feelings to himself. I could have been directing the advertising committee on the new branch company's slogan. My God... I can't believe I came here.  
  
Malik's POV:  
I don't think Seto is taking this too well... and would Yami just shut the hell up for two minutes!?  
  
"Ah-hem..." Maybe if I start talking again, Yami Yuugi'll get the picture. "Tha-" The laughter isn't stopping...  
  
"Ah-hem."  
  
Yuugi's POV:  
"Uh.. Yami? I think Malik wants you to stop laughing..." I figured I had to do something. Malik was getting that look in his eyes again. After that, let's just say, you would probably be lucky to be alive. "Yami...?"  
  
Yami's POV:  
It seems like I'm ignoring Aibou, but I'm not. I just can't help it.. Uh-oh. I have to stop. Malik looks like he's ready to kill me.  
  
Malik's POV:  
"Better." At least Yami stopped laughing. Here's the hard part. "That's not all I wanted to tell you, though..." Silence. Good. "You see... I also have a... slight crush on one of the guys in this room." Ryou raised an eyebrow.. I think everyone's going to be mad at me. Maybe I shouldn't have done this...  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
Ugh.. All he does is ramble on. I have places to go, things to do, a company to direct. Can he just finish already?  
  
Yami's POV:  
Uh-oh... crap. If it's me, I'm committing suicide.  
  
Anzu's POV:   
No... it's probably Yami... what if..? OH GOD NO! What if Yami returns the feelings!? What if he realizes that maybe he feels the same way!? MY LIFE IS RUINED! I'll never get to marry Yami, have a bunch of kids, and grow old with him! It's not fair!! How could it happen this way!?  
  
Yuugi's POV:  
Yami looks worried.. I'll sure feel sorry for him if Malik admits openly to him.. Then again.. I have to admit, it would be ironically funny.  
  
Bakura's POV:  
Any moment now.. I'm going to be sick. Any moment now.... "Yami... daijoubu ka?" Ryou looks out for me too much. For once he could help. If he could just kill the person Malik admits to loving, everything would go back to normal. But.. wait.. What if it's me? Then I'd have to kill Malik! But I can't kill Malik! Aaaaaaaaargh!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Ryou's POV:  
"Yami... daijoubu ka?" I ask. I don't think he's feeling alright. He's getting pale in the face.. Even paler than normal, if that's even possible. I think he's going to be sick.. But he's waving me off. It's not my fault I feel like helping him. I also don't want to see him throw up.. Ew...  
  
Malik's POV:  
Okay.. It's now or never... "You see Seto, I invited you here as well because..."  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
Since when were we on first-name basis? "Because...?"  
  
Yami's POV:  
Wait a minute... could it be..?  
  
Malik's POV:  
"Because I'm in love with you!" I shout out. I did it! I told him my feelings!  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
. . .  
  
Yami's POV:  
"THAT'S EVEN FUNNIER THAN BEFORE!!!!!" I burst out laughing again.. I couldn't help it... now BOTH of them look like they're going to kill me... but I can't help it! Malik likes Kaiba! Serious Kaiba attracts GUYS!!!  
  
Yuugi's POV:  
I couldn't help but smile. It was kinda funny. There was Kaiba, looking all proud and tall, and now he's so flustered. I'm lucky that Yami collapsed on the floor laughing. It drew all the attention, so no one saw me. I would have been pounded since I'm such an easy target..  
  
Anzu's POV:  
Oh... I'm so relieved. Malik likes Kaiba and not my precious Yami-sama... I was so scared for a moment there! An- eew!! Bakura-kun's Yami was just... sick all over the floor. Couldn't he at least have left the room!?  
  
Ryou's POV:  
"Ah! Yami!" He was just ill.. He said he was okay though! Ung... I don't know what to do now. Barely anyone's noticed him anyway because of Yami Yuugi.. We could probably just sneak out unnoticed.  
  
Isis' POV:  
Hey.. He's braver than I though! This silence is awkward though. Well, Yami's helping break the silence.. But Kaiba looks so confused.. Like when I first showed him the past..  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
"Did I... hear right?" I ask. This CAN'T be happening. What if he starts stalking me or something? The last thing I need is to have to explain the concept of homosexuals to Mokuba. Oh man.. What have I done to deserve this??  
  
Malik's POV:  
"Um.. Yeah.. You did..." Yami's laughing even harder now. I wish I could just make him disappear. He's ruining my moment!!  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
"Oh..." If Yami Yuugi doesn't shut up in a moment, I'm throwing my briefcase at his head.  
  
Malik's POV:  
This is getting sorta uncomfortable....  
  
Yami's POV:  
This is one of the funniest things I've ever experienced!!! I can't belie-  
  
Yuugi's POV:  
"Yami!! Are you okay!?" Anzu beat me to him. He's out cold now. Kaiba threw his briefcase at him.  
  
Anzu's POV:  
"Kaiba!! What was that for!?" I ask. I can't STAND him! How could he throw something at poor Yami like that! It's not his fault he found it so funny! He didn't even ask him to stop. How rude!  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
"Kaiba!! What was that for!?" Anzu is so stupid. Wasn't it obvious?  
  
"I shut him up." I say, stating the obvious. These idiots sometimes understand things better when you put it in easier perspective. I walk over to him and pick up my briefcase. It looks okay, no dents or anything. Yami Yuugi seems okay too. Maybe I shouldn't have done that... if he knows enough about modern society, he could probably sue me. Screw him...  
  
Isis' POV:  
Ooh.. Great. We've got two passed out yamis on the floor. Yami from the impact of Kaiba's briefcase, though he seems perfectly fine, and Bakura passed out from shock. Well, just a normal day in our house, I'd say. Though, usually they don't just pass out... it goes on to death. Oh well... I might as well start getting rid of people now.  
  
"So... should we try getting them up or something?" I ask, gesturing to the unconscious people. Ryou props his yami up against the wall.  
  
"He's out cold. He won't wake up in to tomorrow, I bet. The last time he was this... unconscious... he was recovering from a hangover that lasted a week. You can imagine how fun he was to be around..."  
  
Ryou's POV:  
I poke Yami again. I think I'm right. He won't wake up for a while. At least that gives me freedom for a day.  
  
Anzu's POV:  
"Yami? Are you okay? Can you hear me?" No answer. That's not a good sign, is it? Oh.. What if Yami dies!? Then my will to live would come to an abrupt halt! No!!!  
  
Isis' POV:  
Kaiba and Malik are kind of tense. I think I should get everyone out of here... "How about we get these guys some fresh air, okay?"  
  
"Okay" Anzu says. She and Yuugi help Yami out of the room. I guess I should probably help Ryou and his yami. I walk over and help the former tomb robber up and out. I shut the door behind me.  
  
Kaiba's POV:  
I've been glomped. I fear for my life. 


End file.
